“You’re outgrowing your friends.”
As time went on, however, I started to notice small cracks here and there.
But I did.
I compare these changes to sifting.
Sometimes, life sifts out the people who no longer fit us, creating a finer blend of things to come.
It doesn’t mean we didn’t cherish those friendships because we did. It also doesn’t mean that those people won’t reappear, because they do. What it does mean is this: oftentimes, people experience personal and emotional growth on different levels—and while we always want to reach back to pull the person lagging behind up to speed, it just doesn’t work that way. I’ve been guilty of trying to pull people to the level I was at, only to realize that every single shift in life is a process that needs to happen in its own time. Not everyone will grow at the same rate you do, and sometimes, people won’t ever catch up, only to fall away and never return.
Allowing people to be sifted out through the sieve of our lives is never an easy task.
Whether it be a friend or a lover. Each person has their own path to walk, as well as their own lessons to learn, and we must be willing to let them wander at their own pace. So when those metaphorical cracks begin to widen, I would encourage you to wish the ones who have walked alongside you much courage and perseverance as they detour; thank them for being part of your story; appreciate them for the things they taught you.
Later, if and when they do catch up, it means that they have grown and are again meant to be part of your journey, whether they stay forever or only for a season. Welcome them with open arms and agree to love them through the hard times when the terrain again gets treacherous, because inevitably, it will. Accept them for who they are in that moment and congratulate them for making the positive changes in their lives that led to the growth which brought you back together. But most importantly, be in agreement that neither of you will ever take it personally when another detour becomes necessary for whatever reason.
I am the voice of Truly Madly Sassy and currently reside on the coast of North Carolina with my dog Snickers. I’m a full-time social work major, a most-of-the-time writer, a part-time mermaid, and a self-proclaimed princess. I’m a lover of all things chocolate, a staunch Starbucks addict, a sap for Rumi’s poetry, and a tried-and-true believer in happily ever after.